I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Shame - the story of my life.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
