I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
