Just mADE A PArabola og urine
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
