You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
