Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
