Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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