Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
