Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
