carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
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