just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Randomize
