This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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