3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
