She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
