what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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