And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
