I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We left the knife in your bed.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
