Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
