Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
