Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
