So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
