Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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