He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
