the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
