how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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