Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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