I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
