People with herpes should wear stickers.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
