she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
