Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
