So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
