Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
