I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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