girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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