And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
