this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
