weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
