Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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