So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
