That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
