She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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