I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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