I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
