At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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