I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
