can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
mondays should just be called national damage control day
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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