Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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