i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
