he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
