Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
