Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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