i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I look better un-naked...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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