my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sext me about skeletons
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
