Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
