I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so let's talk penis.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
