i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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